Things that change when you have a second child.

When I gave birth to Lilly,I had “first time mum syndrome” where I was totally anxious about everything,not sure if I was doing the right thing,constantly trying to impress other mums by faking that I had my shit together,crying a lot of the time and worrying about what EVERYBODY thought of me and Lilly. Looking back I know all of that was ridiculous and I’m so thankful that we had our second baby Phoebe because her being born really made me the best mum I could be. I used to be so uptight about everything and tried to be the perfect parent,leaving the house looking amazing,trying to keep the house clean 24/7,I wouldn’t meet my friends for nights out (for a whole year I didn’t go on a night out) because I was so worried people would think I didn’t do a good enough job. Actually on my first night out since having Lilly,she was 3 months old and I was in a club(I was 19 at the time),I bumped into a guy who I knew from school (he was actually younger than me) and the little prick came out with “don’t you have a kid? What the hell are you doing out?” And it crushed me. I felt so uneasy,felt like everybody I knew & had on my Facebook (because obvs loads of photos cause first night out) were judging me and thinking I was a bad parent. Now if he said that to me I think I would throw my drink over him and walk the other way (ahh hiensight). 

Last week when I was taking Phoebe to a toddler group (the first one I’ve taken her too herself and she is 15 months!) it dawned on me how different things are this time around compared to last. Lemme know if you can relate! 

1. When I had one child I used to be on time for everything. Now I’m at least 5 minutes late (on a good day) for EVERYTHING. It’s so frustrating and I think my husband is the biggest problem in this to be honest. (He makes me late,winds the kids up like mad,putting Phoebes jacket onto Lilly for laughs,then stresses because we are late and then gets annoyed because we are always late.) #late 

2. Lilly went to loads of groups. Baby sign language (she was FOUR months old. How pointless) toddlers,kinder gym, Jo Jingles(my all time fave) etc etc. Phoebe went to her first baby/toddler group last week..she is 15 months 🙄😂 

3. Lilly was always dressed beautifully. Dresses,cute little trousers,always looking like a little model. Poor Phoebe wore baby grows 24/7 until she was around 7 months old and at said toddler group I forgot shoes so she was running around bare footed 🙃 p.s I forgot socks too,along with my brain 

4. I used to take Lilly to get measured & weighed all the time. At least once a month I would take her to the clinic to get her checked over and could call the whole family and be like “LILLY IS 15 POUNDS AND IS 45 CM OMG SO BIG” Phoebe hasn’t been to the clinic once. 

5. When Lilly was a few weeks old,she suffered really badly from colic & reflux. I was a proper “google mum” and would spend hours googling “why does my 2 week old baby cry all the time”, “why is my 2 week old baby sick all of the time” etc. Phoebe was exactly the same,instead of googling like mad and buying everything on the market for “colic” I wore her in a sling for the first 4 months of her life. Loads better! 9 day old P 😍❤️ 

6. I’ve got my social life back. As I said before I never went out for a whole year,I developed seperation anxiety from Lilly (oh how the tables have turned) and couldn’t bare to be apart from her. I missed 21st birthday parties,hen dos,meals and Christmas nights out. I just couldn’t bare to be apart from her. Now I’m waaaay more relaxed & happy to have the break! We had our first child free night away this year (Lilly was 3 & Phoebe was 1) & it was lovely. I now have a pretty decent social life,I don’t take the piss but I’m happy with the way things are now! 

So overall,I’m just way more relaxed! My house is a mess,we are late for everything,but we have never been happier! We don’t stress about the little things anymore and are so much more laid back about everything. Did you find this when you had another baby? Were you more relaxed second/third time around?❤️ lemme know in the comments below!xx 

One comment Add yours
  1. Oh my gosh. I have been searching for god knows how long to find a blog post like this! Thank you so much for writing it. I’ve always wondered what the differences were from having baby 1 to having baby 2. My son has just turned 10 months old, and he is my first. It’s reassuring to hear how you felt as a first time mum because I feel so similar right now. I have separation anxiety leaving my son. Especially with my in-laws as I always feel that my MIL is wanting to snatch him off me and boot me out the door so she can have him all to herself. Really struggling with that one. I’m sure soon enough I will happy prance out the door rather than be forced out of it! X

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