I feel like I’m so unbelievably lucky that my group of antenatal mums are the best. Like actually incredible. I never thought that when I signed up for antenatal classes that I would end up with a whole bunch of best friends, and their babies would be my baby’s best friend. Getting a good group of mummy friends is pretty important but can be really hard at the same time. With a load of judgey mums out there, know it alls and that- it is easier said than done. I know I got really lucky with my mummy friends!
We went through all of our firsts together, first smile, first full nights sleep, first foods, first baby groups, first mummy night out. They were the first friends I told that I was pregnant with P, they were at my wedding and my dads funeral. We have all supported each other and have been apart of a really special friendship ourselves and our little kiddies.
When you become a mum, even though you are completely in love with your new baby, in this amazing little bubble, you can still feel totally alone. 92% of mums feel isolated and alone, that is a scary percentage. For a lot of mums the idea of going to a baby group is terrifying, even smiling or starting up a conversation with another mum is just impossible. With breast feeding vs bottle feeding, crying it out or co-sleeping, homemade food or jars, there are so many questions that you have and so many opinions. Not every mum you meet will be as lovely as you hope, with bitchiness as common at toddlers as it was at school- I don’t blame any mum for feeling lonely and anxious. Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world, but with even just one decent mum friend by your side and on your side, makes a massive difference.
Having a friend who is going through the same as you but not making everything a competition, can give you amazing advice and who will never ever judge you is one of the most amazing and important things when going through parenthood. If you are feeling alone and anxious, push yourself. Go to a baby/toddler group, join a local facebook group of mums in your area. Reach out to other mums and be a friend. Being a mum is difficult enough, you don’t need to go through it alone.
List of facebook groups that are really helpful for mums, whether you are feeling alone or just needing some advice.
& if you’re local,
We don’t have to agree on anything to be kind to one another. Whether you breastfed your baby or bottle fed, for immunisations or totally against it, we are raising our children to be gentle and kind to others and never leave anybody out. I think a lot of the time we need to practice what we preach!